Fearless
by The Queen of Alchemy
Summary: Even Athrun Zala had to fear something, and Athrun being Athrun, he had to think the worst of himself. Who better to call him an idiot and set him straight than Cagalli? Oneshot. AsuCaga, slightly dark undertone but mostly cute.


**~FEARLESS~**

***Well, I was in the angsty, philosophical neighbourhood and thought I'd write something related to the topic. Takes place in SEED, towards the end, when Athrun and Kira are piloting the Justice and Freedom respectively, and are assigned to the Eternal. Reviews are much appreciated as my ego needs stroking and my writing can use the constructive criticism.***

**ATHRUN**

"Athrun? Is something wrong?"

_Ah. Cagalli. I'd forgotten, she was on the Eternal for the night, something about a meeting with Lacus..._

I looked up at her. Of course there would be questions; it was close to two in the morning (is there such a thing as 'morning' in space?) and I was sitting by myself in the Eternal's cafeteria, for no apparent reason.

I shake my head; grateful for the dim lighting that means she can't clearly make out the agonized expression I'm sure my face is reflecting.

"I haven't got anything on me right now, but for want of a better phrase, penny for your thoughts?" she says warmly, sliding onto the bench across from me. She leans across the table, and waits expectantly. I sigh. I won't get out of this interrogation, obviously.

"I doubt my thoughts are worth that much, and if you want horror, I hear Dearka has a Saw DVD," I reply, managing a weak smile.

She laughed. "You? I'm sure _your _thoughts couldn't be all that scary. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Don't you pull your 'emo' routine on me, Athrun Zala."

"_Emo routine?_" I ask, confused beyond belief.

"You know. When you sulk and go into that depressed mode. Don't think people don't notice. Your friends care about you." She smiles, and I look away. This is why I don't understand Cagalli and Lacus; they can find reasons to smile in the midst of a war. Not that I don't admire them for it, but it's so...disconcerting.

"Well, perhaps it's anti-emo. Not for want of death," I answered, examining the patterns on the Formica table top. I wondered why I was telling her this, especially in light of the fact that I made a habit of telling people as little as possible about my personal thoughts. Did the Goddess of Victory know she could command people so effortlessly? I'm sure she doesn't. Something about her speaks of a raw honesty.

She looked at me, questioning me further.

I sighed again, and continued. "I told you my mother died in the Junius 7 incident." She nodded. "Since then, I wondered what it would be like to die. To know there was a possibility of...of not having a state of being. To simply have everything end. To feel your heart stop beating. Wonder if it would hurt, wonder if you would ever have your friends and your family with you again. That would be the worst, I suppose...and knowing that everything you had not accomplished before then would never be done." I draw in a sharp breath. My mind swims.

Cagalli didn't say anything, but I didn't get the feeling it was because of awkwardness. She reached over the table and grasped my hand.

"Athrun?" I looked at her. "You. Are. An idiot."

I stared at her incredulously. And an involuntary laugh escaped from me. Again, that honesty...

"You join the army and you're afraid of death?" she continues, her brow furrowing. _All things cute, eat your fuzzy little hearts out, _I thought, smirking to myself._  
_

"You are extremely blunt, but yes," I admitted. "I know that makes me a coward, but - "

"I don't think it makes you a coward," Cagalli interrupted, her amber orbs glaring at me ferociously. "I think you're just too smart for your own damn good."

"But - "

"But nothing! Most people aren't as scared of death as you are because they don't fully grasp the bloody, pun unintended, concept." I wished I could believe her.

"Cagalli, I - "

"Athrun, you are the first person I have ever had to defend from himself. Please, build a bridge, and _get over it. _You are not a coward. You are one of_ the_ bravest people I have ever met, and _everyone_ is scared of something. It is _not_ your fault you fear something intelligent."

I burst out laughing. "You're really something special, oh fearless princess."

"I hope that was a compliment."

"Rest assured, it was." I smile again, but this time it is genuine.

"Athrun, did you know that being fearless means _having_ fears but ignoring them and doing something anyway?" she said.

Perhaps that was the first night I started to think the world of her.

I wonder if she knows I haven't feared death since. At least, not for myself. But now I'm left with the greater problem faced by fearing for the thrill-seeking, fearless lioness of orb.


End file.
